reasons why winter is better than summer:
- little to no insects (◕‿◕✿)
- sweaters all the time (◠△◠✿)
- the air is nice and fresh smelling (◡‿◡✿)
- sometimes it snows and you get out of school \(◕‿◕✿)/
- snow is pretty (´･ω･`)
- no pollen (▰˘◡˘▰)
- it gets darker faster so theres more nighttime and more time to look at the stars (ᅌᴗᅌ* )
- everything is dead just the way i like it (⊙‿⊙✿)
son: dad what’s for dinner?
dad: dinner? nope. i said 1000 RTs or no dinner. sorry
son: we haven’t eaten in days
dad: 1000 RTs or we starve
my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you
pls don’t expect me not to wear the same jeans every day bc that is unrealistic and unfair
If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend.
finding songs from your favorite artist that you haven’t heard before
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
*goes to a party and awkwardly follows friend around the entire time**goes to a family reunion and awkwardly follows mom around the entire time*
why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me
Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
My talents include being able to identify every one of the 5000 songs on my iPod by the first chord and eating more than the rest of my family combined
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”